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  • Writer's pictureLana Tillack

Marriage Spark After a Kid

Updated: Mar 15, 2019

It is no doubt that after a kid a couple can experience a series of events that can affect their relationship. After the birth of our Son, Keston Luke. Our marriage was tested, we went through a phase of continuous pointless arguments, family drama and no appreciation for each other.



I did not accept my new lifestyle as a mom and wife, i was stuck living in the past where i would come home to a relaxed environment, dinner prepared by hubby followed by a one hour gym session with my darling friend Tara-Lee. Life back then was much more relaxed and no added pressure as we had no baby to care for, just each other.


The truth is life got pretty busy after our Son, we had added house tasks, sleepless nights, new costs, reduced time with each other as lovers and friends! simply no time to do the things we enjoyed doing. I felt the need to be perfect and do everything at once, i paid no attention to my husband and his feelings. Everything had to go my way or else i would have a melt down. It was after a massive fight that hubby and i decided to make the time for each other or risk a marriage fail.



I stopped trying to control life as we know it and took the time to prioritize my new life!

Hubby and i had our first Valentines day as parents in 2018 and although we were just overcoming our dry season, i recall the day being sweet and cheerful as we started to put love back into our relationship. I started by saying thank you for the very little things he did for me and appreciated our little time together. I made him a batch of hot cakes topped with fresh fruit and cream for breakfast and he got me a bunch of flowers, very different to our previous one but oh so fresh and beautiful indeed.



It has been one year since that painful dry season that taught us to grow, forgive, heal and move forward as a couple with a new lifestyle, i am happy to share the things we now consider a priority that make our marriage sparkle with love and joy!

We ignore petty situations that result in massive arguments, forgive, hold hands often, pray together. Kiss and cuddle! i love that, plan our time together as lovers and allow for some spontaneous fun. Laugh out loud, not to take life too seriously. Allow for a night were one of us is passed out with the kid. Say thank you, no matter how small the gift or offer it is just a matter of appreciation and kindness, Oh and seriously just laugh, it really is contagious!

i think of everything funny to keep a smile on my face.



As Keston grew our load got lighter and relationship goals changed! we now allow our parents to watch Keston during the day to encourage good social and relationship skills which results in us having a date day. At night if we want to go out it has to be well planned and only after Keston's dinner, bath and bed routine. It is important to us that Keston feels loved by both his parents and hopefully grows to understand and respect our date days / night away from home.



After the painful dry season, i have grown to be more understanding and less demanding on hubby and myself. If i forget to fold the laundry then that's just fine and if he forgets to call me today then i will do so, i no longer have the desire to expect but rather appreciate.

Since this wonderful new journey of appreciation for each other, we have spent more movie nights at home, made healthier take away choices, invested in home appliances that make our life easier like an air-fryer for all our grills and a blender for an on the go healthy breakfast or sweet treat!


Life has changed but love wins always!


Trash the dress Shoot by CJ Photography

Location Durban

Theme Industrial / Dirty Bikers

Year 2016


Until next time,


Love and blessings

Lana T

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