Everyone seemed to annoy me, the slightest things made me upset, too many hands wanted to snatch my newborn off my chest, no respect for baby nap time or bonding, i walked around my house with hot cloths on my engorged breasts, crying while trying to nurse my newborn. People and their advice, not everything was meaningful.
First night home from the hospital, no milk as yet, only colostrum.
I thought this would be fine until i noticed baby refusing to leave my breast, he kept on wanting to feed, i gave him the pacifier and he suckled a bit too hard than normal. This continued for a bit, no sleep and no satisfaction until Mr hubster suggested, i try to express, nothing! my heart broke instantly.
My first suggestion was formula, Mr hubster dashed out to Pick N Pay Express store,
He purchased a tin of Nan One milk (blue tin) and once home, made a small bottle for baby to try out, baby took the bottle (Tommee Tippee) so well and settled immediately after his feed. I felt like a complete failure, i did not think to get back up milk stored at home, my fear was how long was baby actually hungry, when did he last get a bit of colostrum to fill his tummy. My heart was sore, i cried once baby was asleep, i questioned myself " can i do this mum life and look after an infant."
Day Three / Four after giving birth, my milk arrived, this time i knew it was in because my breasts were full, leaking and very sore. My cousin Denae, had spent the night prior to the milk arriving, praying for us as a family, she heard about my emotional melt down after our first night home with baby. Family support is so important, i appreciated the messages sent daily that inspired and encouraged me, the few that would offer help with house chores and my immediate family that brought hot beverages, snacks and treats to fill my cupboards.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful and painful experience, it was my first child, everything was new to me and Mr hubster, all i wanted to do was give up, i did not want to breastfeed because it was painfully sore, a messy affair and i did not have much breastfeeding friendly clothes.
Mr hubster encouraged me to try, a few friends called and suggested i give it four weeks before giving up, pray and lean on God. I love my husband, he truly is a man that is selfless, thoughtful and kind.
After a few days i got the hang of breastfeeding, baby fed every two hours during the day and night, exhausting! i also fed on demand when baby wanted more milk than usual.
We chose to exclusively breastfeed baby, express milk into a bottle when i needed a break and only gave baby a Nuk newborn pacifier. Baby was doing well, i was simply exhausted as no routine was yet established apart from feeds, sometimes baby would sleep well and allow me to take a shower and rest, some days sleep time was very limited.
Mr hubster spent four weeks at home with baby and i, he was helpful and a hands-on daddy, within the first week of welcoming our baby home, we had a house full of friends and family. While this is wonderful, it can also be over whelming for new parents, we had to turn down the visit requests and only allow immediate family over as we had later discovered Keston was unable to break his own wind, he would suffer after a feed with a gassy tummy.
The cry was so piercing and painful for our ears and hearts, we cried a great deal together, Googled solutions, asked other parents for advice that experienced a similar situation.
One of the evenings, baby suffered so bad we had to run a bath at midnight to soothe and ease his gassy tummy, one of the best Google tips we had searched for colic baby tips.
I began eating foods with less gas, for example no beans, pasta and fast foods.
Fizzy drinks was out of the question, i lived off oats, cuppa soup, whole wheat bread, fish and hot drinks like tea and turmeric milk.
Once Mr hubster returned to work, i felt emotional and afraid to look after baby alone for a full day, he assured me that he has faith in my mothering and that all will be okay.
Nervous on my first day, i called my M-I-L over to assist me, we gave baby a bath together and got him settled after his feed, to get the wind out, we had to a do a quick technique that involved seating baby on your lap, hold baby firmly with his/her chin in the palm of your hand then tap the back with your free hand as the patting on the back traditional technique did not work for little Keston.
One month as a mom, i felt happiness and sadness at the same time, i cried at random situations, Mr hubster would say something like " our boy is so cute" and i would cry.
If i took a drive alone to get out the house, i cried while shopping and staring at all the clothes that could not fit me, i was an emotional wreck. I eventually spoke to my step mom,
I explained to her that i do not feel pretty any more, i do not know if i can do this mum life thing and cried about complete nonsense.
My step mom's advice was simple, she asked me to hug Mr hubster as often as possible, dress neatly during the day, a simple button down shirt and pair of leggings, night time a pair of button down pajamas. She suggested that i pray whenever i can, there is no need to stick to my old routine of 03:00AM rise before the sun as i am now a mum, God will understand, plus it was just my own system prior to being a mum which is why it worked then and will not be appropriate now. Six weeks after baby second check up, i will then be confirmed medically fit to return to gym, so she explained everything will come together in due time, lastly i was told to apply nipple cream twice a day (lanolin) and wear well fitted nursing bras, this made me feel a ton better after practicing these tips.
A blessing indeed to have my step mom in my life, she ensured Keston and i were looked after and given enough rest together there after, i had my sister who came over on weekends to cook some meals, she assisted with Keston while i took a shower or tried to nap, my dad came over in the evenings after work, to help us out, especially if Mr hubster received a late call out to attend to a break down at work.
Grateful to the many friends i call family, Kirsten and Ashton came over on our first night home from the hospital, they brought their love and kindness to assist us with cuddling baby while i tried to nap, Dumile and Esther were there with us since the labor ward drama, Esther cooked Nick's first meal alone and sent it over at the hospital, my in-laws did their best to assist, i had some reservations with them due to the clash of boundaries / beliefs, i will leave that for another blog post as it will address many questions i have been asked to date and issues most new moms deal with.
Finding the balance was a struggle, to respect my elders while also be assertive that i am now a woman raising a child with my husband, i have my own beliefs, values and custom.
While i respect my elders, i am going to be firm about my beliefs and protective of my family.
My advice to you is simple, do what you feel would be best for baby and yourself, seek Godly counsel, ask advice from other moms, create a mom chat / group.
Pray and stay close to God during your motherhood journey, this road is tough but together with the help of God and a good support system, you can do this mum life thing as i call it.
There are no perfect parents and there are no perfect kids, but there are plenty of perfect moments along the way - Dave Willis
I do hope you enjoyed the details on my first month as a mama, tips and updates below.
Much Love & Blessings Lana T xxx
*Tips*
Breastfeeding Pads - essential, use them once your milk flow begins
Nursing Bra's - use a well fitted bra while nursing
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